Purpose: Before and After

One month ago I ate pizza and greasy cheeseburgers because I liked pizza and greasy cheeseburgers.  And I ate bowls of ice cream because cups are too small.  I stayed away from doctors because I didn't have time to sit in waiting rooms, and I didn't bother worrying about things like cholesterol levels and blood pressure because I was too young for such concerns.  I did exercise some, but when I did, it was all about vanity: it wasn't about being healthy as much as it was about trying to look good.

     I tried not to be a selfish person, but when I get right down to the nitty gritty, my life was mostly concerned with the purpose of me being happy.  It was a process that nearly destroyed my heart.

    My surgery on March 20 was unexpected.  Some good medical people caught my coronary problems and saved me from death.  They also took the canvas that displayed my purpose in life and drew a line right down the middle.

     I am not going to make this cryptic or difficult because the division was clear.  On one side of the line was the place where my heart served the lazy, self-indulgent interests of me.  It was a service that rendered my heart useless.  But on the other side of the line, my heart was called to serve a new purpose, and that was to put the things of Jeff aside and live for others.  That could happen by changing diet, exercising wisely, and having regular check-ups.  I would have to do (and not do) things that had always been my priorities, in order to go on living for the people that I loved.  I would have to make my family and friends the priority of my heart on this side of the line of heart surgery.

     If I were to decide that I wanted to continue to live for me, and go back, it would kill me.  But if my purpose is to live for those that I love, I am given new life.  I like that purpose, and I like its benefits.

     There is a great deal of ridicule from people when they hear the Christian term "born again."  It amuses me, but it doesn't surprise me.  The problem, I believe, is that humans (particularly when it comes to the things of God) often feel superior by making simple ideas as complicated as possible.  I might not have the whole concept, but I think that for the most part, this is a great example of simplicity being lost at the expense of big words.

     The purpose of my heart was to please Jeff before surgery.  After surgery, my heart lived for a new purpose: others.  That is my new life.  To go back, is to choose death.

     Most people spend their days in search of their own enjoyment and pleasure.  We are concerned with the here and the now.  Making the most of this world is our purpose.

     But one day we wake up and say, "living for this world is living for death."  And we choose instead to change our purpose to live for God.  We choose life.

     Born to the purposes of the world.  Life that will end.

     Born to the purposes of God.  Born again to eternal life.